There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
