I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
