We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
