bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize