well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
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all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
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I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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