A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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