5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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