if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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