I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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