Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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