He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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