The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
