he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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