Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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