nut hugger
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
