Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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