I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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