just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
