I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
