what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
