if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
