Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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