stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
