Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize