dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
