haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
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you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
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He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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