My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
