where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
