Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I could fuck to npr.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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