flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
they're like a gay fantastic four
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
