so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
