Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.