I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
