she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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