I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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