So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
