im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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