On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
