so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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