I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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