recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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