yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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