Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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