No awkward lesbian experiences without me
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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