she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
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cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
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At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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