You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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