Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
