hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
