i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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