At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
