Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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