Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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