Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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