sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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