you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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