i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
