I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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