people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
