i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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