My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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