I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
