discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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